Sympathy for Kate doesn’t halt frenzy
Published January 29th, 2007 in GeneralMy column in the Sun Herald simply didn’t have enough space for me to really get stuck into the most important issue of the week, the media circus surrounding Kate Middleton.
In case you missed my article, here is an excerpt:
It’s hard not to feel sorry for Kate Middleton, the 25-year-old brunette who is Prince William’s long-term girlfriend and tipped to be future Queen of England.
She has been the subject of blanket global media coverage in recent weeks, as rumours of an imminent engagement spread.
Women’s Weekly has her on the cover but Woman’s Day takes the cake for bad taste, with a double-page spread of full-length photos comparing Kate to her boyfriend’s late mother, Princess Diana, at about the same age.
Eighteen photos pitch the two women against each other, wearing matching bikinis, halter-neck dresses, fur hats, evening gowns and jeans. For Diana, a self-confessed bulimic, such forensic comparisons with another woman would have been excruciating. You can only imagine the oedipal horrors inflicted on Prince William, 24.
While women’s magazines may be the worst culprits, it doesn’t stop there.
Media outlets all throughout the United Kingdom and the glorious nation of Middle Australia are endorsing the constant hunting of Prince William’s girlfriend by the same people who killed his mother, by slapping their photographs all over their magazines, newspapers and websites.
As you can see here, Kate has had about enough of the feeding frenzy, but it just won’t go away, as shown in the following seven shots:
It’s time for the media outlets of the world to stop vindicating the hounding of this poor girl by publishing their photos. What’s more, the readers who buy these magazines should also feel responsible. Let’s give the future Queen of Middle Australia a break. And for God’s sake, drop the Diana comparisons. It’s only going to stir up bad memories for all concerned.
Toodles!
xx Miranda
One Response to “Sympathy for Kate doesn’t halt frenzy”
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Dear Miranda,
Yet another brilliant blog that has really opened my middle-Australian eyes.
I think I will need to go out and purchase some more Women’s weekly’s just to find out the extent of their appaling treatment of the young princess. Without purchasing the magazine for $7.50 with my middle-Australian credit card, how will I ever know what the true issue is? I am 100% sure that the money will not go to taking more photos of the princess.
My middle-Australian wife told me last night would like to give Prince William’s “Union” a good jacking…
I wasn’t sure what she meant by this, or what it had to do with buying more plasma screens on credit cards (this is how us middle-Australians engage in foreplay).
She explained to me that it had everything to do with buying plasma screens.
If she manages to jack Prince WIlliam’s Union, then she will sell the photos to Women’s Weekly, thereby obtaining more glorious Australian dollars.
I was only semi-satified, given that it involved purchasing plasmas with real money as opposed to credit cards. Nonetheless I was sufficiently turned on so that we could have a glorious middle Australian f*ck. If only she were Daniel Craig.
Anyway, my glorious middle-Australian wife asked me to stop posting information about our plasma-filled sex life on the internet, so I should stop here.
As for the future queen of the glorious nation of middle-Australia - I need more photos of her so I can see the extent of her suffering caused by her having so many photos taken.
Praise and glory be to Miranda: the supreme lordess of middle Australia