MirandaDevine.com

Twelve months ago, the majority of Middle Australia recognised green activists for what they are: inconsequential gasbags pining for the drug-laden indie-music culture of the 60s and 70s. Sadly, the reality of late has been obscured by a new gang of organised criminals: the Green Mafia.

Whereas once the scientists warning us of global warming, ozone depletion, and asbestosis were rightly laughed at, today they are canonised. These intellectual naysayers seek the destruction of our glorious society through the dismantlement of industry, and the scary thing is that they now have the cash behind them to buy out the media, the politicians, and even Hollywood.

Right-minded climate change sceptics are shouted down, disendorsed, and even threatened with physical harm, as the increasingly fashionable green left lobby seeks to suppress any remnant of free scientific thought, to further its own cause. The left faction of that glorious Middle Australian bastion - the SMH - is even pressuring me to start supporting the green cause.

The nerve!

Timothy Ball, the gloriously right-minded ex-professor of climatology at the University of Winnipeg in Canada, is one of those brave enough to expose the green monster.

“Western governments have pumped billions of dollars into careers and institutes and they feel threatened,” said the professor.

“I can tolerate being called a sceptic because all scientists should be sceptics, but then they started calling us deniers, with all the connotations of the Holocaust. That is an obscenity. It has got really nasty and personal.”

The proponents of climate change have even gone so far as to threaten Professor Ball’s life - saying that he wouldn’t live to see further global warming unless he kept quiet.

The immense hypocrisy of it all cannot fail to escape the notice of Middle Australia. The people who are pushing their green agenda on us are the very same people who speak our about free speech and civil liberites. With one hand they paint banners decrying the justified incarceration of one David Hicks, while with the other they are busy pulling the wool over the eyes of a subdued populace.

Meanwhile, the notorious Green Mafia figure Alfonso “Al” Gore is out raising money for the cause by peddling his subversive documentary all around the world. Anyone who sees this film is a criminal, and should be slapped with a control order post-haste. We cannot allow our glorious dollars to filter into the pockets of these amoral, inhuman environmentalist fiends. Boycott organic foods! Chow down on cage-fresh eggs! Harpoon the whales!

We stand on the brink, my dear devotees. On one side, we have peace, prosperity, and the status quo. On the other, is the dim, murky totalitarian future envisaged by George Orwell. The problem is, George was wrong. It was never the governments who would be the ones to hold their populations captive. The Green Mafia stand poised to hurtle this glorious nation arse-first into the 14th century. We cannot risk our nation’s future.

Middle Australia may have been built on the sheep’s back, but we are prospering on a huge mountain of coal. Other countries are jealous of us. They seek to destroy us by sowing doubts in our minds. They want our land, or resources, and most importantly, our way of life. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of Middle Australia. Let the lights burn bright, and let the rest of the world bask in our exceeding glory.

Toodles!
xx Miranda