MirandaDevine.com

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The staff at Villawood Immigration Detention Centre (glorious guardians of our way of life that they are) continue to dazzle me with their fantastic innovations.

Not content with their ingenious and thrifty measures of encouraging detainees to sew their mouths shut, thus saving Middle Australians tax payer millions of dollars on porridge and toothpaste, these glorious and hardworking saviours of Our Way Of Life have now put 3 silly immigrants on the roof top of the complex. I think this is a capital idea – a truly glorious notion! Clearly, the advantages are numerous:

• An immigrant detained on the roof keeps the gutters clean;
• An immigrant detained on the roof can patch a leaky roof (or, as an interim measure, can sit/lie down over the affected area and provide temporary relief);
• An immigrant detained on the roof can serve one drinks and nibblies whilst one basks on their rooftop sunbed; and most importantly; and
• An immigrant detained on the roof scares away pesky possums en route to destroying one’s precious magnolia tree.

I filed my application to adopt several detainees this morning. My gutters have been shocking as of late.

Marvelous!

I’m considerably outraged right now about the judicial vindication of Mohamed “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US” Haneef by that insipid peddler of character-test garbage: Justice Spender. I’ll tell you something, Spender Queer Charlie Quite Communist QC. You and your band of terrorist sympathising, wig-wearing, chardonnay quaffing legal nincompoops had better climb back onto your red velvet mardi-gras float and row back to where you came from. I’ll give you my “judicial interpretation” of the character test, Justice (Tax Dollar) Spender: Innocent Australians don’t need justice! They need protection from old sausagedogs like you, and terroristic mobile phone users like Dr Mohamed “roflmao cya” Haneef!

Toodles!
xx Miranda