MirandaDevine.com

Brendan Nelson is a raging spunk of a hunk (Photo: ABC News)

Glorious middle Australians, I apologise for the dearth of words flowing lately from the fountain of righteousness that is my pen. You see, I am now an official member of the Brendan Nelson entourage. I am Miranda Devine, War Correspondent de la droit! It is now my official duty to report the cold hard facts!

Fact number 1: For a fifty-something political swashbuckler, Brendan Nelson is a raging spunk of a hunk. He is quite gallant, I must say! Hubba hubba!

Fact number 2: Back in August, I spent 48 hours touring the world’s anus. It was, as expected, hot, smelly, and full of brown things.

In 48 hours, one can learn a lot of things. I obtained my mathematics degree in a similar timeframe. I plan to cash in on my 48 hours on the ground for the rest of my illustrious journalistic career, until I enter the political fray.

You see, correct and level-headed denizens, I am somewhat of a modern day Wilfred Owen, with the exception that I am more correct than that crusty, warbling old goat could ever have been. There is no “Old Lie”. It IS sweet and glorious to die for one’s country, but let it be heard, O leftist, chardonnay-quaffing Incorrectinistas, that not a single Australian soldier has died since 2002.

Actually, make that since two days ago.

But the point still stands! DULCE ET DECORUM EST, PRO PATRIA MORI!!!

I must be off so that I can recycle and email my next “foreign correspondence”. I am a big fan of the internet. One can report from deepest darkest Turkmexicohyderabadistan, from the comfort of the sunbed. Glorious!

Expect much more ranting from me in the coming 11 weeks. I have an election to influence!

Toodles!!
xx Miranda