The truth about K-Rudd’s 2020 summit
Published March 18th, 2008 in General
There has been a lot of foul moaning from the louche left here at Fairfax, regarding the selection of 9 steaming hot man-minds amongst the ten-member 2020 gab-fest leadership team. Thankfully, I have used my connections to ensure that the Mike Carltons of the world do all their reporting from a leaky closet in the basement, and hence the moaning is somewhat muffled.
The added bonus of this relocation is that the chance of me having to endure to fetid stench of a leftie in an elevator is greatly reduced - my personal diesel-powered elevator is located next to my gold-plated parking space, while the vegan cyclists are confined to the other side of the building. Glorious!
What does all this have to do with Cate Blanchette, you may ask? Indeed, some of you may be accusing me of using her just to increase my hits from people searching for naked celebrity photos. Never! This blog written with the highest ethical and professional standards in mind.
Cate is, of course, the sole femme fatale who will be appearing at the 2020 summit. Unbeknownst to the left, K-Rudd in fact begged me to take a leadership role. Fortunately I had a prior engagement, watching that hunk of man meat Ricky Ponting taking part in a real Twenty20 summit, namely the Indian Premier League.
K-Rudd’s gas-fest is, a posteriori, merely a cover. Insiders close to the PM have revealed that he plans to spend the entire weekend reading back issues of my column, thus at once understanding and solving every problem facing Middle Australia. No longer will he have to look to the Howard Government to apportion blame - he will understand the threefold scourges of our society: lefties, loners and labradors.
If we are to truly move forward as a society, we must lock these groups up. I have started the ball rolling with my colleagues at Fairfax, now it is up to Middle Australia to take up the chant. No longer shall we be bothered with single mothers clogging up our streets with four-wheel-drive prams. No longer shall we be afraid to go outside, lest we step in some foul canine excreta.
(Manuel, my perennial rooftop immigrant, is now falling behind in his gutter-cleaning duties due to the demands of scraping faeces off my heels).
Anyhow, I must rush off - I have an expose to write on drunken St Patrick’s day revellers. How dare they clog up the bars all day, forcing me to queue for my chardonnay?
Toodles!
xx Miranda
6 Responses to “The truth about K-Rudd’s 2020 summit”
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Miranda, I really want to hear more about your thoughts on the 2020 summit. Your editorial on Sunday, in which you implied the 2020 summit was the first step to a Rudd dictatorship, wasn’t enough for me. Are there any other perils we should be aware of?
BTW I must invite you to my place for tea I have an agapantha garden which is to DIE for.
Are you ok Miranda?
You haven’t blogged for a while and I suspect your SMH column is being written by some leftie stooge.
PS You will be pleased to know I got rid of the dog. I took him to the Royal National Park and quickly drove away while he was crapping on the footpath.
Fuckin good on ya love.
that bill henson cunt should die!! all these fukin arty pricks….
its simple… witches burn. so does wood. wood floats. so do ducks. if that henson prick weighs more than a duck then he should burn like the whitch he is!!!
whooo!!!!
Thanks to you and the sydney morning herald…. now your a good righter!!!
Cheers
Who is this Miranda Devine? She seems to try to attach herself to every cock & bull story to try to raise some self promotion. She appears to be plain faced, without presence, arrogant and trys her hardest to climb the social rung all the while claiming to be part of middle Australia. She obviously only has the socio-economic power of a mid-Australian, however, wishes and trys and wants so much to live a life of fantasy. I would suggest that she has serious issues from her childhood and with regards to her parenting as I believe they were diplomats who probably had little if any kind of fatherly or motherly love and/or affection for plain faced little Miranda who wasn’t actually quite devine. I question her morality and sense of reality as she seems to indicate one of the most important factors in her life is alcohol ‘Chardonnay’ or quite possibly in her experience Cardinay as she traipses throughout the hotels of Sydney seeking any antics of stars or people she emulates in order to assist her self promotion methods and techniques. Unfortunately you can’t compare her to those she probably wishes to be like Hedder Hopper etc… as she doesn’t even really raise any mention and anyone I speak to has no idea who the woman is. Certainly I had not heard of her prior to her claiming I was pragmatic about being paid for sex - wouldn’t you be if someone 35 years older than you wanted to have sex with you or at the least suck your cock. I would say that Miranda and I have this in common we both love self promotion and want to be paid for it - I’d love to know how many cocks she’s had to suck to get her on the light gravy train she has been riding locally. I actually haven’t had sucked any in order to be paid yet but who knows I’m still youngish with blond hair and a muscled body. By the way dear I wasn’t unemployed as you state in your article dated 26.10.2006 I was working as a postman and gym trainer - its interesting how ‘middle Australia’ is so righteous - you know I once had a good friend from the Holmes A Court family and he told me and this corresponds with my own experience - the most bigoted, self righteous, depressing and ugly people belong to the middle classes. Actually if you read back through my message all indications are that Miranda does in fact belong to this class of society - sorry Miranda you were right!!!!! Good Luck!!!!
http://www.brushtail.com.au/july_05_on/devine_drug_raid.html
Remember this Miranda? Ha!
Keep up the good fiction.
Z
Miranda Devin a true “victory for decency” would be for your column to be removed. However I believe in freedom of speech and art. So it is very interesting for me to see the same argument to remove your influence used by you to remove others, and the same argument used to defend you denied to others?
I would be very interested to hear your opinion on this?
But do us all a favor for now, and please improve your writing for “victory for decency” for English grammar.