MirandaDevine.com

There has been a lot of foul moaning from the louche left here at Fairfax, regarding the selection of 9 steaming hot man-minds amongst the ten-member 2020 gab-fest leadership team. Thankfully, I have used my connections to ensure that the Mike Carltons of the world do all their reporting from a leaky closet in the […]

….Mr Howard. I just couldn’t go on. I could not carry the torch any longer for you. I lost my grip and I feel my flock slipping away from me, into the interminable darkness of Leftist Limbo.
Great Rudd from the Sky came to visit me earlier this week. I was basking […]

Kevin Rudd:

Eats babies;
Made a sex tape with Paris Hilton;
Rides a bicycle on motorways;
Smells of Elderberries;
Is the lovechild of Justice Kirby and Peter Garrett;
Doesn’t watch reality television;
Associates with communist vegan;
Donates to Greenpeace;
Assaults old ladies with cucumbers;
Practises BDSM;
Espouses Bolshevik policy;
Had a threesome with Beth Morgan and Joe Scimone;
Wears Therese Rein’s underwear to cabinet meetings;
Reads Joe Hildebrand’s column;
Listens […]

Smug git.
Dear readers, I return from the Bahamas to bring you a tale of despair, decreptitude and dereliction.
During my brief absence, the nation has descended into obloquy. I deem that the responsible parties shall be named and shamed: Harbhajan Singh; Peter Roebuck; Kevin Rudd MP and His Excellency Philip Michael Jeffrey AC, CVO, MC. […]

Marxine McKew: she is no Santa Claus…she’s a Bolshevik dissident!
Merry Christmas to all who agree with me! To the leftist vegan fairies celebrating paganistic Yuletide with their same-sex partners: I hope Santa takes a big, steaming, milk and arrowroot biscuit-flavoured turd in your Christmas pudding. I also hope you spend the season […]

Dangerous hippies congregating in public plazas: this will be the outcome if Clover the Terrible gets her way.
Without the Eye of the Glorious John Winston Howard, the pestilence of the Left has spread. Teenage gothics with vile painted fingernails are pelting me with organic bananas wherever I go. ASIO is not […]

The Previously Honourable Ms Alexandra Downer, travelling incognito.
I emerged from hiding yesterday to publish my article and batten down the hatches for a dark age of leftist backslapping.
The Transformation of Alexander Downer is now complete. The Former Foreign Minister who would be woman is now all woman, disguised from the […]

Gyah! What manner of foul Beast is this?
I stand on the brink of a great morass. Everywhere it is dark. The black sky, illuminated every now and then by the lightning, is teeming with scores of flying communists and vegan fairies, howling triumphant cries of victory. A radio is blasting leftist anthems and exciting […]

To the Australian Hotels Association and all the barristers that represent it: each day I grow more powerful. I am the raging, flaming incarnation of Influence itself. I am an immolation, sent back in time to burn through red tape and be a beacon of courage. I am a lobbying superpower that galvanises glorious Middle […]

Golly! You would think that we were slap bang in the middle of an election campaign or something!
There I was, relaxing in my lower north-shore rehab clinic, when all of a sudden who should appear but Mike Bailey! Union official! Communist! Leftist Labor candidate for North Sydney! And what’s more, former ABC weatherman and Kyoto […]