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Why has K-Rudd been leading in the polls for so long?
- Pollsters have only interviewed nancy-boys and vegan cyclists (21%)
- Julia Gillard has turned 56% of the population into vampires, and is controlling their thoughts (55%)
- Middle Australia is playing a joke on Mr Howard (28%)
Total Votes: 108
Who is responsible for the equine flu outbreak?
- Greenies - if they had let the horses be quarantined in a giant air-conditioned room, none of this would have happened (23%)
- Bob Carr - he probably snuck the virus in just to spite the sporting and gaming industry (37%)
- Lesbians - this is God’s way of saying “no” to homosexual marriage (40%)
Total Votes: 110
How long should Mohammed Haneef be held without trial?
- As long as the AFP deem neccesary. (3%)
- Terrorists don’t deserve trials - lock him up and throw away the key. (36%)
- Why are we spending taxpayer dollars keeping this guy? Deport him ASAP. (61%)
Total Votes: 985
Sex with Paris Hilton: What do you think?
- Ghastly. Like bowling a hotdog down a hallway (20%)
- Hideous. Like tossing an earthworm into the Grand Canyon (40%)
- Shocking. Like dropping a teabag into the San Andreas Fault (40%)
Total Votes: 15
Would you go on a voyage into space?
- No. I prefer Kellyville. (49%)
- No. There is no air-conditioning in space. (51%)
Total Votes: 1232
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